“Stop whining…” He orders daughter, “Take my tray!”
“But, Daaaad… I don’t know where it goes.”
“Quit being a goddamn baby, and just do it!”
______________________________________________ Care for a Flash Fiction Reading?
_____________________________________________________ If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece (in 55 words), then please come tell G-Man.
Had to un-grit my teeth just now. Something tells me that these fifty-five words are not fiction for many little Titans. Fierce dialogue crisply relayed, Dustus.
A Trickle down effect of Anger!
I felt the emotion here, Even more when you listen.
Most Excellent 55 Adam.
Your support is greatly appreciated, I hope that Friday 55 is firmly ensconced in your weekly things to look foreward to, rather than just doing a writing prompt. Have a Kick Ass Week-End…G
He’s obviously forgotten who’s going to pick out his nursing home–and support him after he loses all the rest of his investments. Or not. What a freakin jerk. adam, you bring it all to life, the waste and the sadness and the total self-absorption. Excellent 55.
I’ll bet he was a “gentle discipliner,” too – one of those f**ktards who tells parents NOT to EVER spank their kids, while he screams verbal abuse at his kid, thinking he’s not damaging her in a worse way.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece (in 55 words), then please come tell G-Man.
April 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Had to un-grit my teeth just now. Something tells me that these fifty-five words are not fiction for many little Titans. Fierce dialogue crisply relayed, Dustus.
April 14, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Drop that laptop, Daddydear, or suffer these spikes up your rear.
Poor girl. This is a common, sad scene around here.
Fantastically told, Dustus.
April 14, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Very realistic, heart-breaking 55. Nicely penned.
April 14, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Ass. (not you)
You really pulled the emotion out on this one. I wanted to punch that guy in the throat.
April 14, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Not a happy family.
April 14, 2011 at 8:10 pm
A Trickle down effect of Anger!
I felt the emotion here, Even more when you listen.
Most Excellent 55 Adam.
Your support is greatly appreciated, I hope that Friday 55 is firmly ensconced in your weekly things to look foreward to, rather than just doing a writing prompt. Have a Kick Ass Week-End…G
April 14, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I enjoy writing and recording 55’s very much, G… plus photoshopping is fun. Kick Ass weekend back atcha
April 14, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Oh that was so very sad. And probably happens more than we know. A very good write!
April 14, 2011 at 8:48 pm
The father’s an ass! I felt for the girl. Really good!
April 14, 2011 at 8:58 pm
ugh. i think i know this jerk…i mean dad…
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Yes, witnessed similar situations. Disgusting.
April 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Well written and well read.
A disturbing moment, framed and encapsulated.
For some reason your voice sounds exactly the way I imagined. (!)
🙂
April 14, 2011 at 11:08 pm
The opening line is the strongest, a good grip on ironic contrast takes us in. Hope Mom’s a little better.
April 14, 2011 at 11:14 pm
A sad state of affairs and he probably doesn’t even see it. You give it great emotion in your reading Adam. Bittersweet 55
April 15, 2011 at 12:39 am
If I were the little Titan, I’d run on my fleet feet as far as I could get from Pappy.
April 15, 2011 at 1:50 am
This touched too close to home. It sent chills down my spine.
Click here to check my 55 out
April 15, 2011 at 2:02 am
This hurt..!
Very well written this disturbing pattern in 55..
Hugs x
April 15, 2011 at 2:25 am
Nobody is perfect, but seriously?! Cellphones and Laptops need to be put away sometimes. 😦 Sad story but great 55.
April 15, 2011 at 4:50 am
Great reading. Love the echo effect
marc nash
April 15, 2011 at 8:09 am
I wish that I could punch that guy!
Well done!
April 15, 2011 at 8:45 am
Ah – some real Flash Fiction.
Good stuff, savage.
April 15, 2011 at 9:45 am
Yikes! Hope someone in this child’s life has softer edges…
Fabulous 55, Dustus.
April 15, 2011 at 10:25 am
He’s obviously forgotten who’s going to pick out his nursing home–and support him after he loses all the rest of his investments. Or not. What a freakin jerk. adam, you bring it all to life, the waste and the sadness and the total self-absorption. Excellent 55.
April 15, 2011 at 11:07 am
Oh…this one is quite sad…but very well developed.
April 15, 2011 at 12:38 pm
It made me feel arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
I guess thats what you were aiming for.
it worked.
🙂
April 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Ahhh, 400 grand comes, it goes. 🙂
I cringed too. Ya done good.
xo
April 15, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Poor little Nike … she doesn’t deserve any of it!!!
April 15, 2011 at 3:20 pm
This reminds me of that old Harry Chapin song, Cat’s in the Cradle.
“I’m gonna be like you, Dad.
You know I’m gonna be like you.”
Sad, and too true, I fear.
April 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm
I don’t think this is fiction but cold hard fact for too many. You did it so well in 55 words. What is $400,000 to this little athlete?
My 55 is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/04/friday-flash-55-those-were-days-april.html
April 15, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Sad that this rings so true. Good that it’s so well written!
Have a great weekend!
April 15, 2011 at 5:47 pm
damn..nicely done…terribly clever..I wonder which came first, last line or title? most excellent 55 ~
April 15, 2011 at 6:03 pm
YOU SON OF BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB wow that made me mad
April 15, 2011 at 6:08 pm
So sad that there are too many fathers like that……….
April 15, 2011 at 6:23 pm
I’ll bet he was a “gentle discipliner,” too – one of those f**ktards who tells parents NOT to EVER spank their kids, while he screams verbal abuse at his kid, thinking he’s not damaging her in a worse way.
April 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm
And he’ll probably wonder why, after buying her the very best of everything, she doesn’t have time for HIM when he’s in his twilight years…
April 19, 2011 at 2:16 pm
One has to wonder who’s being a baby in this scenario. A cringe-worthy 55.