When Tender Notes Weep (@Onestoppoetry’s Friday Poetically)
When tender notes weep
Angels shriek throughout no sleep
Above shredding, cutting
8th notes erupting
She knows my love’s nothing
Truth bared beyond me
As rainfalls bleed, puddling greed
Opportunistic admittedly
Spilled guts, fallen dove
Lies lead history, I’ve had enough
Unbalanced, out touched
These sing songs of Love
Strongest than most tranquil drugs…
Ineffectual odes to never mind
Did move me beyond, until out of time
While you are not nirvana
And I’m lost inside my mind
________________
Care for a reading?
*The above poem was just written for Brian Miller’s music prompt over @ One Stop Poetry Check it out! Everyone is always welcome to play along with the challenges. Thank you
January 14, 2011 at 9:41 am
Adam a wickedly beautiful poem. The heart wrenching music of love captured poetically. Thank you for sharing.
January 14, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Appreciate you taking the time to visit and comment, Corbie. Glad you liked it.
January 14, 2011 at 9:56 am
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January 14, 2011 at 10:47 am
”Truth bared beyond me” oh Dustus this so full of craving and unfulfilled love..
January 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Appreciate that, budhaah
January 14, 2011 at 11:42 am
when tender notes weep…wow…wow…wow..
adam – for me the title would’ve been enough – it so hits the nail
beautiful …many beautiful words to follow – but the weeping notes stick with me..
January 14, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Thanks, Claudia. I could tell you had fun with yours, like some of your saxophone skill seeped into the lines. Nice.
January 14, 2011 at 11:45 am
Sadness resonates in this one, love but on the rocks or unsure of itself?
‘ineffectual odes to never mind’
What a corker of a line, cuts deep. But so confused. Amazing what you can get from a piece of music Adam!
January 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Shan, it’s partly about being confused, if you drop the “conf” part. Definitely sad. However, thank goodness for poetry 🙂
January 14, 2011 at 12:40 pm
frick dude…this has great rhythm and rhyme…it pulls at my heart…and yeah plays well with the title…you rocked it man
January 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Great prompt, brother! More please.
January 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm
As a read this I could hear the Beatles song about “still my guitar gently weeps” in my mind…nice write.
January 14, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Great song! George was underrated. lol He also wrote Badge w/Clapton. One of my favorites.
January 14, 2011 at 2:51 pm
awesome!
‘she knows my love is nothing’ and
‘and I’m lost within my mind’
along the same lines as my post
great write
thank you
January 14, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Appreciate your feedback, hope.
January 14, 2011 at 5:45 pm
this was great….well written, damn good poem despite the prompt
January 14, 2011 at 8:47 pm
thanks, Pete. I hope Brian keeps going with the music prompts—was fun!
January 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm
So many different ways these lines can be interpreted.
Full of feeling and some pain, sadness, confusion.
A powerful poem indeed
January 14, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Appreciate your feedback, K.
January 14, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I loved this. The title says it all, but then the words just seemed to play with my heart. Really, I’m amazed at what you did with the music prompt.
January 14, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Much of the time I listen to music while I write. Kind of used to it, but seldom focus on it. Would love to try to write songs if the opportunity ever arose. However, I’m a terrible guitar player & sing like a howling dog. lol
January 14, 2011 at 7:19 pm
So layered, incredibly well done…as always, so very impressed with your writing/so much thought and emotion in it…
I like how this lingers with the “inside” of the mind…read so well, and so fitting to the music prompt! 🙂
~April
January 14, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Thanks April. Haven’t seen you in the twitter stream. Hope your book writing is going well 🙂 Cheers
January 15, 2011 at 12:04 am
Deep, sir, and cutting. Like Claudia, you had me with the title but love the arc of the poem as it pulls on more than guitar strings. Well written. Gay @beachanny
January 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm
this is just so heartwrenching. the sky is indeed crying
January 15, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Powerful emotions! Especially love “When tender notes weep…” and “I’m lost inside my mind…”
January 16, 2011 at 12:02 pm
“Lies lead history, I’ve had enough” —- Powerful.
Enjoyed listening to it, too 🙂