State of Detachment
Frigid air slapping face
Wind burning tender
Circular flakes…
Ice cured blanket
Back of eyes burning
Imagine a white board
So bright it’s disturbing
Back of eyes burning
Imagine a white board
So bright it’s disturbing
Taking time with nothing chosen
More than looks like scarf is choking
So say I run to want to be warm…
Until hypothermic shivers are gone
Discover comfort
Enfold in arms
Contented glow
Drawn by charm
Follow crumbs
Trusting darn
Never thought that
Emotions weave wrong
Just quit obsessing!
She won’t think of you
Keep pacing down the avenue
Still life twice frozen
Cold feeling removed
Struggling now
To say adieu
________________
Care for a reading?
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One Shot Wednesday!
Post a poem & share feedback.
Going on Now!
@ One Stop Poetry
December 15, 2010 at 10:26 am
Oh, but she migth think of you, mightn’t she? My incurably romantic side says so.
December 15, 2010 at 10:43 am
Ah…a love lost and the process of trying to justify what happened as you walk away…nicely presented.
December 15, 2010 at 10:44 am
Yes, I agree with Ben! She might be thinking of you…
places
December 15, 2010 at 11:16 am
Aw! Such heartbreak in torturous thoughts – longing, looking back, dreading what you’ll see if you do. Will she look too? Does she feel the same? Such questions we torture ourselves with…
Lovely poem, though, Dustus! Draws up feelings I know all too well @_@.
December 15, 2010 at 11:22 am
The heart can become as cold as the snow, mine did. A wonderfully penned poem Adam.
Anita.
December 15, 2010 at 11:40 am
i so enjoyed hearing you read this adam – lots of emotions tumbling like snow flakes across the page – we write our hearts into words – thanks for sharing yours with us – it’s precious
December 15, 2010 at 11:46 am
still life twice frozen…snap adam….felt this one through and through despite the lack od cold…smiles.
December 15, 2010 at 11:54 am
Loved the journey, my friend, through cold and disquiet, loss and stilled emotion, into attempted acceptance, and the reading was just frosting on the poetic cake.
December 15, 2010 at 11:56 am
You have a great reading voice. I could feel the cold!
December 15, 2010 at 12:10 pm
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Dustus, Gay Cannon. Gay Cannon said: RT @Dustus: @Onestoppoetry New Post for #oneshotwednesday "State of Detachment" http://wp.me/pnd9L-1Wn #poetry […]
December 15, 2010 at 12:37 pm
I definitely just got a glimpse into a man’s mind. :o) Thanks for sharing!
December 15, 2010 at 1:18 pm
still life twice frozen….great line Dusus…stay warm….bkm
December 15, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I am impressed every time I come here..should make it an everyday habit 🙂
December 15, 2010 at 1:42 pm
She is definitely thinking of you Winter man,these signs are for the soul to get..:) lovely write as always Adam..photo is fitting too..:)
love the tiny snow balls falling in here..!
Merry Christmas my friend..:)
December 15, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I felt slap in the face from the harsh weather… well-penned, Sir
Warmest Salad
Luke
December 15, 2010 at 1:51 pm
loving and leaving dont always see eye to eye, dont they
December 15, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I think we jinxed ❤ Looks really cold Adam, I hope there's a nice fire burning for ya 🙂
December 15, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Wonderful! I was struck by “…emotions weave wrong.” and “twice frozen.”
December 15, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I have enabled the WordPress snowflakes feature on my laptop… and while reading the first stanza of poem, it actually looked like these snowflakes on my screen were hitting you :)… just for an instant, I felt kinda in a daze…
And then you write about emotions .. trying to catch them, as if they were a source of warmth one tries to run towards in cold… I really liked that analogy a lot!! Very well pictured, Adam!
Stay warm, my friend… heaters cranked up, a mug of hot cocoa/coffee in hand… that should help ease the pain (at least to a certain extent) 🙂
December 15, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Aw. This is sad, though beautiful. I love the snow flakes.
December 15, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Written on a chilly day, in more than one way, I say. (Okay?)
Nice One Shot, Adam!
December 15, 2010 at 5:38 pm
This just resonates with the raw cold blast of loss, Adam. I’m choosing to go with Ben and let my romantic optimism take over. Of course she will think of you!
December 15, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Very good! “Life twice frozen”, great line. Thanks for sharing.
December 15, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Why do I feel like screaming…NOOooooo, lol. Frigid fragile thin-ice heart…no! LOL ~Actually wrote something unfinished today of similar position, only I had to mix in the blend of warmth & peppermint kisses beneath a mistletoe, lol. NO I didn’t post…because of course I’m in a state of hmmm….lol…anyhow, excellent writing as always.
Warmth, warmth, hot chocolate! *smiles for you!…*sniff sniff…its just the…cold, lol…yes that’s it! ~ hope you never mind my goofy humor, I have to do this to maintain sanity! 😉 or something like it 😀 ~April
December 15, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Ha! With the exception of Jerry Lewis, humor can never be too goofy. lol I know exactly what you mean, April. Humor keeps me sane too… just wish I was funnier.
Cheers
December 15, 2010 at 8:52 pm
This was a really cold poem. I actually felt cold as I read it and I didn’t warm up when you ran. Another poem written by a man today…telling me things i never knew were true. I only thought women thought this way. Things you live a lifetime without knowing..Huh! Well written, Adam!!!
December 15, 2010 at 9:00 pm
…Still life twice frozen…. absolutely beautiful. Loved that you added a reading, really brings the feeling of saying goodbye to life.
December 15, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Oh Yaa,
Reading this bit –> Imagine a white board
So bright it’s disturbing
was incredibly satisfying. For real!
🙂
December 15, 2010 at 10:08 pm
How sad, standing in the cold while getting the cold shoulder. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/waiting-for-persephone/
December 15, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Chills of a cold heart, snow highlighting the bitterness. Well done once again.
December 16, 2010 at 12:38 am
WOW!
A powerful descriptive analogy — from a broken poets heart usually comes some of the best poetry written, and this one may very well be counted as one of them.
It certainly made me feel the cool icy winds of the great North Eastern chilling winds in my bones and soul,,,, but then again in the recesses of my mind as I see the photo and you walking alone in the cold snowy night — I want to shout to you and say — remember that song ” If you can’t be with the one you love— then love the one you are with…
Great Poem, wishes you warmth
joanny
December 16, 2010 at 12:38 am
WOW!
A powerful descriptive analogy — from a broken poets heart usually comes some of the best poetry written, and this one may very well be counted as one of them.
It certainly made me feel the cool icy winds of the great North Eastern chilling winds in my bones and soul,,,, but then again in the recesses of my mind as I see the photo and you walking alone in the cold snowy night — I want to shout to you and say — remember that song ” If you can’t be with the one you love— then love the one you are with…
Great Poem, wishing you warmth
joanny
December 16, 2010 at 1:13 am
This was nice Dustus. I could practically visualize what you expressed. All the cold and the warmth.
Cheers and Happy Christmas.
Shail
December 16, 2010 at 5:41 am
Brilliant piece!
Cheers 🙂
December 16, 2010 at 7:16 am
I could feel the cold winds, breathing over me. Just how powerful the flow of your poem is. Great poem!
December 16, 2010 at 9:22 am
thaw out that ice cured blanket, never know what the other one is thinking, ther’es always hope in the dancing colors of icicles!
December 16, 2010 at 9:55 am
I’m not nearly as good at comments as you are….you should be a reviewer (not a critic…not fond of critics :-)) But I did thoroughly enjoy this…it draws you in. Wonderful piece.
December 16, 2010 at 10:08 am
Hearing you read your poem takes it to a different level, Adam, because the amount of emotion in your voice transforms the words.
It’s a startling poem, emotionally, and that a man reveals in such a raw way what men generally don’t do, is so intriguing. But being a poet allows so much more to our humanity I think.
A strong, powerful, emotional and resonant poem that leaves a haunting.
Bravo, my friend!
Lady Nyo
December 16, 2010 at 11:58 am
Listening to your voice reading the poem made the experience rather vivid. Winter to me is brutal season, connected to broken hearts and feelings, but the helpless romance I carry with me all the time says, there’s always a hope on the end of winter day to get the warmth we wish for! Very nice post! And thanks for visiting my blog!
December 16, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I wish I’d written this (from a female POV) especially the line “still life twice frozen.” Nice, Adam.
December 16, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Passionate write…good to see you write about love and emotions, I rarely see you do.
Cheers!
December 16, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Felt.
December 16, 2010 at 9:24 pm
It’s all about that miscommunication thing between men & women. Why is it that we just cannot speak the same language? I bet she would want to talk to you, but is too afraid to start herself.
Hey Adam, where did you get the audio clip device?
December 16, 2010 at 9:48 pm
I agree that “still life twice frozen” is really nice!
December 16, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Hi Katherine. The audio player automatically appears when you upload an MP3 file to a WordPress blog. It’s really easy. If you’re looking to do something like that for your blog, which I think is on Blogger, I don’t know how. However, Claudia just posted an excellent one I believe in Quicktime Movie format. I’m not sure if a player was required to post it…
http://oneshotpoetry.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-would-write-you-love-song-moon-poem.html
Cheers 🙂
December 28, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Oh what if she thinks of you too? :)Go ahead tell her or you will never know.
Beautiful poem..
December 31, 2010 at 10:09 am
Good to see how the cold weather has had a positive influence on the creative side of life 🙂 This had such a jaunty rhythm and Chrismassy feel until the last few lines, when the coldness took on a whole new meaning.